Never Lost in Milan!

My journey to Italy has reached an end! Four days of meetings, four long and exhausting days... But it’s not about my meetings that I want to write about. It’s about the journeys in between meetings.

Got to Milan Monday morning and collected my car from Hertz. I’m not sure I can call it a car!! It took me from A to B!! Slowly and painfully from A to B! In Portugal we call it “CANGALLHO”!!!  It took ages to get to 100km/hour! When I reached the 110 km/h it started to shake like it was having an epileptic attack!! God help me if I gone to 120km/h! I can assure you it would have disintegrated itself in pieces and I would have ended up asking for a lift!!!!

 Along with my super car came my super sat nav, named NEVER LOST!! Hahahahahahaha! I’m laughing now! Believe me! At some point I wanted to cry!!!

NEVER LOST did not recognize any, and I mean ANY of the numbers I had on my addresses! I had always to find something close (if there was anything close!!) and then drive up and down the road or around the block for at least 4 times (and this really happened!) and hope to finally find the right place!!!

NEVER LOST is also needing some serious updates!!! At some point I couldn’t even found the name of a street!!!!!!!!! HEEEELLLPPPP!!!! It took me 3 hours to get to a place that supposedly should only be 1 hour away!! Why???? Because I GOT LOST!!!!!!!!!! My bloody sat nav, which is named NEVER LOST took me to the wrong city! Same post code, with the correct street, but wrong city!!!! For God sake! What is wrong with this sat nav people??? Seriously? Wrong post code???

NEVER LOST also has an option called “DETOUR” which is suppose to give you an alternative route when you need one! Well, not this one!! “in 150m turn right”, well I cannot go right! Road close (no need to say that NEVER LOST does not recognize closed roads!) so I use DETOUR, “re calculating”.... “in 200 m turn right, and then turn left... and then when I realized I am back again to the bloody same place! THE ROAD IS CLOSED!!! I cannot go that way!!! DETOUR again “in 150m turn right”!!!  OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I CANNOT GO THAT WAY!!! I WANT ANOTHER WAY!!!!!! So again, I don’t know where to go, I keep coming back to where I started, I AM LOST!!! With my NEVER LOST sat nav!!!

In the end, I started to get in and out of motorways trying to avoid any possible road construction! Lucky me, in case of doubt you always follow the sign MILAN!! One way or another it took me where I needed to be! And believe me it was never in MILAN! J

When I look back to these four days, I see myself hitting my steering wheel and shouting at a sat nav that should have never allowed me to get lost! But it did!! Every single day of my four days in Milan!! Thank God I am in Italy! No one can really see the difference between me and them!! Latins!!!!

I also see myself trying to move fast in a bloody car that didn’t move! Milan’s motorways are a jungle! A metal jungle!! It’s the law of the fastest! And most of the times the stupidest! Please imagine driving a car that purely does not respond to your feet!! It starts to shake like a washing machine!! Noisy like a washing machine!! But at least my washing machine works at 1200rpm!! Faster than my “CANGALHO”! Trying to overcome trucks, slower drives (if there was any) and take ages to do this!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Worst than this is to be overcome by yellow fiat 500, pandas, micras!! The smallest and slowest cars on earth did overtake me this week!!!!

At some point I just wanted my car!! If this is possible! I missed my car like I miss my bed when I am away!!!

Anyhow, this is just one of the croks adventures!! Thank you NEVER LOST to make this post possible!!

Ready to go home now!!

Love always

Dani @ Milan

xxxxxx